Yes, Virginia, there is too much of a good thing. I'm talkin' bread. "Pain" (pronounced "pan"), as the French like to call it. And for me it was, indeed, a major pain.
I have been wondering for many months now, just what would happen if I tried eating dairy/wheat/eggs again after abstaining for about 1.5 years. I found out last week in the Southwest of France, after a bit of a birthday bread binge. I had been in France (with slight detour to London for 2 days to see Olympic fencing -- F'n awesome, that's all I'm sayin') for more than a week. Apparently the French consume nothing but bread with coffee, bread with tomato slices and a pinch of deli ham and cheese, and bread with more cheese. If you don't like that, you may have steak with pommes frites aka French fries. (Okay, they also had lots of foi gras and seafood. Which I won't eat, because I just don't like 'em.) Needless to say, I was chock full of steaks and fries after one week. So, on occasion, I stole bites of bread. Yes, it's terrible, but I totally forgot to fill my pants with those carrots I meant to take everywhere. The day before my birthday, our little group of 9 stopped for sandwiches for lunch. Not good for me. And there were no other options. I was expected to eat tomato slices and a nasty piece of deli "ham" while everyone else happily munched on enormous loaves of bread containing similar stuff. So, I'm getting hungry and I start stealing bites of bread. Then on birthday night, I order , no wait, someone ELSE orders for me, a steak and fries (sigh) without telling me they are ordering for me or asking me how I'd like my steak, which in France, comes out extra-moo rare, always. The result is that I cannot eat my expensive steak and am not willing to sit there with nothing to eat while they take everything (including the fries I'm busy inhaling, because it's 10 pm and I'm hungry) back to the kitchen to spit on my steak and burn it to oblivion, or at least shoe leather. So I resort to bread. Because it is delicious and because there is nothing else to eat. I ate several large chunks. And LO, it was yummy. I understand why we like it so much -- it is dee-licious.
And everything was fine until I started home a couple of hours later. I had to drive for an hour fighting stomach cramps and severe fatigue. I'm sure all the wine wasn't helping, but no, alcohol was not the problem. By noonish the next day, I had cleaned out my colon/intestines and was dealing only with the most extreme fatigue I believe I have ever suffered. It was bizarre -- I felt like I just couldn't move. So I spent a day in bed, instead of touring more vineyards around St. Emillion. Bummer. But I was fine the next morning and lesson learned. Now I know. It's not just itching if I backslide. It is the Big D (and I don't mean Dallas) and extreme fatigue. I'll have to re-read Hidden Food Allergies, but I believe this is pretty much what Dr. Braly laid out. I was getting away with a few bites of bread here and there over a few days, but when I did that for several days in a row and finished with a big bunch of bread, the party was over.
So, there you have it. The results of birthday binging on an allergen, such as wheat? An unplanned colon cleanse and one lost day in France. The good news is that, unlike a hangover, no headache was involved.
Anyway, I'm back now, and eating Fritos and refried beans and all the other non-dairy/wheat/egg crap I want. Food other than bread and cheese abounds once again and I can relax knowing that I have options. I must say, France made me appreciate the variety of foods available at U.S. restaurants, even though I think we have too much dairy and wheat even in the U.S. It's all relative, and just thank goodness I don't live in France.
I'm off to start a slow roast of chicken breast with carrots, potatoes, onions, and celery. Now THAT's gonna be YUM for dinner.
No comments:
Post a Comment